Well guess what! Turns out I failed completely at this blog. Surprisingly I put things like school and my kids first. The moving really took so much time there was little left for anything else. In fact I still have boxes to be unpacked.
So lets see whats going on now. I still am working crazy hard at school and work and being a mom. I am working a new schedule at work that allows me to be at home every morning with my kids which is amazing. It also means I get home about 11:30 and in bed about midnight to be up at 7:30 or so for the kids. I am trying to fit P90X into my life as well in order to get my body back in shape after baby number three. So really I kind of am even more busy then before if possible. I changed it to see my kids more though and that is what matters to me.
I am currently in the process of filling out all of my applications for nursing school, being two different local ones. This whole process scares the living crap out of me. Everything I have sacrificed, every moment I spent in class and studying all comes down to this. If I do not get into nursing school then I'm scared. How do I justify it all? What can I do next? I can't keep floating waiting to get in. I have three kids to think about. I just have no control anymore after I send those applications away, I'm giving all the control up, and I have to be in control. I've giving my future to some group of people to decide if my time and money taken from my family was good enough. SCARY! I get very stressed out about these thoughts and eventually stop filling out the applications and move on. I have till Feb 15th to send them in. Which really means I have till Feb 13th cause that is Friday. Breathing and support needed. I just have to buck and believe that everything that is supposed to happen will, and whatever happens is for the best. I just have to give up my nice control of everything... just. If only it was so easy.
Dear Sweet Carlie: Know that whatever happens, you are a winner. You have been focused on moving forward with your life and not let "having everything figured out and in place" keep you from pursuing a goal. I KNOW it's hard to not worry, and to believe everything will work out for the best no matter what. It's HARD to give up control. No matter what, the time you have spent in school will not have been wasted. You have gained a whole lot from it, and it will be used somehow, even if the nursing school app does not go through... Of course if these people have any brains whatsoever, they will understand that you will make an AWESOME nurse, who all the patients will adore, and you will be a a huge asset to any hospital or doctors office that hires you. Keep positive thoughts, Mom believes in you. You know how much a Mom does that now :-)
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