Well guess what! Turns out I failed completely at this blog. Surprisingly I put things like school and my kids first. The moving really took so much time there was little left for anything else. In fact I still have boxes to be unpacked.
So lets see whats going on now. I still am working crazy hard at school and work and being a mom. I am working a new schedule at work that allows me to be at home every morning with my kids which is amazing. It also means I get home about 11:30 and in bed about midnight to be up at 7:30 or so for the kids. I am trying to fit P90X into my life as well in order to get my body back in shape after baby number three. So really I kind of am even more busy then before if possible. I changed it to see my kids more though and that is what matters to me.
I am currently in the process of filling out all of my applications for nursing school, being two different local ones. This whole process scares the living crap out of me. Everything I have sacrificed, every moment I spent in class and studying all comes down to this. If I do not get into nursing school then I'm scared. How do I justify it all? What can I do next? I can't keep floating waiting to get in. I have three kids to think about. I just have no control anymore after I send those applications away, I'm giving all the control up, and I have to be in control. I've giving my future to some group of people to decide if my time and money taken from my family was good enough. SCARY! I get very stressed out about these thoughts and eventually stop filling out the applications and move on. I have till Feb 15th to send them in. Which really means I have till Feb 13th cause that is Friday. Breathing and support needed. I just have to buck and believe that everything that is supposed to happen will, and whatever happens is for the best. I just have to give up my nice control of everything... just. If only it was so easy.
